Having a lot of challenges as a parent? Don't know what to do? Very lost on how you should be a good parent? Well, you are not alone!

Consider the following:

1. Out of love, you told your kids that making money is difficult and that they should study hard, get a good degree and a good job and save money for the rainy day.
2. To strike a balance, you and your spouse always play the bad cop good cop roles with your kids.
3. Out of love and to try to encourage one of your kids who is behind in his school work, you said "See how well your brother did? You should learn to be like him!"
4. You just came home from work after a very tiring day and your kid wanted to play with you and you said "Go play with Mary (your domestic helper from Indonesia). Mommy wants to watch TV and rest.
5. It's report time and your kids came home and rushed to you to show you her report card. You immediately took the report card and looked to see what it said. If the result was good, you most likely praise her and if the result was not so good, you most likely started to lecture her.
6. It's not quite dinner time yet but you were hungry and made some sandwiches and insisted that your daughter joined you to eat some.

The above are some very common scenarios that happen everyday. Do you know that the above are actually not good? 

Take the first case, when you tell your kid that making money is difficult, and if he accepts that, making money will be difficult even if you give him the easiest way of making money. Making will always be difficult and he probably give up before even getting started!

Take the second case, your daughter is fearful of you because you are very fierce and always play the bad cop role and say no to her. On the other hand, your husband is a nice guy and always play the good cop role and say yes to her most of the time. Your daughter wants to go out on a date. Your husband said yes but you said NO. What do you think how your daughter feels and is going to do? Major conflicts! And this can cause serious emotional problems!

So, from the above examples, you see that many parents do the wrong thing or say the wrong things to their kids, essentially giving the undesirable commands to them, causing serious challenges in their life in the future as these commands are stuck in their subconscious mind without them realising it.

What makes it worse is that you might find the same situation in yourself! Ever heard of like father like son, like mother like daughter? Yup. You learned undesirable behaviours from your parents and you are unconsciously passing them down to your own kids.

That is the bad news. The good news is that all these can be changed. And they can be reversed and changed easily, if you know how.