Perception + Evidence + Time = Beliefs
As we grow up, we experience life. How we make sense of these experiences is highly dependent on our social circumstances and the societal values that surround us. As we experience similar incidents and as we spend energy making the same choices, our brain seeks to optimise this repetitive process. Hence it develops a belief, or thinking perspective, so that when the similar situation happens, we can make quick decisions with less energy.
Our beliefs cover everything from opinions about ourselves, our identity, our rights, abilities, about other people and the world in general. It is the invisible lens that can distort our eventual behaviour.
Mark was a great student and he would score 97 or 98 for his tests. But when he ran up to his Mom hoping to get her approval, she shook her head and declared: "This is terrible! You missed getting 100 by 2-3 marks! Were you careless again?" Her criticisms really stung. After a few such incidents, he felt dejected and hurt. So he decided to never do so well again. He would get 75-76 marks which is an A grade and he wouldn't be criticised for missing that perfect score. So he subconsciously developed a belief that he should perform only until 75% of his best. Anything more isn't worth the trouble. This belief followed him into his adult work life, where he felt that he couldn't perform at his best, regardless of how much he wanted it.
As a young child, whenever John tries something new and fails, his parents and teachers always tell him: "You did your best. As you practice, you will get better and better! We believe in you!"
John senses their encouragement and basks in the glow of their approval. He feels validated and wants to please them, so he chooses to try things again and again. Over time, his brain develops a belief that: "Everyone believes in me. I feel good. I believe in myself too! I can do it!"
This belief served him as he grew older as it created a default behaviour whereby John was always driven to try again and again, even in the face of failure.
After three decades of systematic research, Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck explains why some become greats like Muhammad Ali (Boxing), Richard Branson (Virgin) or Akio Morita (Sony), while others give up in the face of failure or hardship. It's all in our mindsets.
What is a mindset? It's a belief that orients the way we handle situations — the way we sort out what is going on and what we should do. Our mindsets help us spot opportunities but they can trap us in self-defeating cycles.
Prof Carol Dweck's work showed how contrasting different beliefs impacts our ability to perform. If we have a fixed mindset that our ability is innate then a failure can be unsettling because it makes us doubt how good we are. In contrast, if we have a growth mindset then we expect that we can improve our ability — and a failure shows us what we need to work on. People with a fixed mindset are out to prove themselves, and get very defensive when someone suggests they made a mistake — they measure themselves by their failures. People with a growth mindset often show perseverance and resilience when they’ve committed errors — they become more motivated to work harder. You can imagine how much this fixed vs growth mindset can affect our lives.
At Peak My Performance and Think Solutions, we recognise that training for knowledge and skill doesn't always create the results we want. People get really excited after a seminar but in 2-3 weeks time, most even forget what they learnt! This formula to create change doesn't work. To be really effective at creating a permanent change, we need to deal with the beliefs.
The tools that are available to help you shift beliefs include:
- The Growth Mindset - One day workshop created by T.F Chiam & Fred Then to train participants with a lifelong method to deal with limiting beliefs and create success strategies.
- Life & Business coaching - Private one-to-one sessions for successful executives create strategies around our glass ceilings.
- Emotional Freedom Technique - A 30 year old system pioneered by Gary Craig that can remove fears in minutes instead of weeks!
- Body Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson - A proven system based on Eastern sciences and acupressure that is used to deal with health crisis, trauma or trapped emotions.